Okay, so I have to be honest. I am going through one of my times of feeling totally inadequate. The enemy is attacking from all sides. Let me explain. I will try to make this as short as I can as not to bore you to death. :) But I must give you some background first.
I met my lovely husband of 13 years exactly 14 years ago at Rollins College in Winter Park Florida at Staff Training for Campus Crusade for Christ. Soon after training we were engaged, got married and were placed on the campus of UT Chattanooga. We were on staff with Campus Crusade for Christ for 6 years and absolutely LOVED loving on college students. In 2002 we felt God calling to leave staff and pursue other opportunities.
A lot has happened in the past 8 years! Nothing that we thought would happen which was---make a difference in the work place for Christ and passionately pursue other ministry opportunities. We pursued ministries over the years but never really felt the passion or driving force behind it. To be honest with you....it saddens me to say that we got caught up in the material things of this world and let that be the driving force behind all we did instead of passionately pursuing Christ and all He has for us. When we were on staff with CCC we had to raise our own support and most months didn't even reach our full pay check. Because you know...if people didn't give, we didn't get paid. This was very hard for us. We didn't have children at the time and our rent was $300 a month so we could live off of $800/month....most of the time. But over time it really took its toll. So....when we finally got a consistent pay check, we went WILD!! New car, vacations, nice things (okay, so all this is all relative....but to us we were rich). Then something happened that no one really forsaw...the economy crashed!! I will spare you the details because I am sure we all have felt the effects of the economy. But let's just say....we are worse off now than we were making $800/month with Campus Crusade. And...with Paul being in the Mortgage Industry, we are never garanteed a pay check!
It reminds me a lot of the book of Jeremiah. In chapter one God says, "They have forsaken Me and have offered sacrifices to other gods, and worshipped the works of their own hands." (v. 16)
Now if you know us, you probably would never suspect that we were trying to keep up with the Joneses. We didn't even really realize it at the time. But now, looking back, we know that our hearts were seeking other things.
"My people have changed their glory for that which does not profit." Jer. 2:11
But the beauty is, Glory to God, is that through the journey our hearts have been turned back to HIM, His Word and the souls of men and women!! Praise God!! All throughout Jeremiah chapter 3 the Lord is pleading, "return to Me." Oh how sweet it is that we heard His cry through the crashing waves.
Which leads me to now:
The Lord is doing amazing things in my and Paul's life. We have really exciting things going on! We have opportunity for ministry again. We have our house for sale and willing to live wherever to passionately pursue that ministry (which is with college students by the way) :) We are just wanting to make drastic changes for the purpose of God's Kingdom. We realize that money, possesions, prestige is fading. At the end of the day we want to MAKE A DIFFERENCE FOR HIM!!! I am sooooooooooo excited that the Lord has brought both Paul and I on our own journeys to the same point of wanting to live for Him in a big way!
So why are we being attacked? Take a guess!
Anytime the Lord stirs the hearts of His people, the enemy is waiting to trip them up. So please pray for us. We are starting to feel so unworthy, inadequate, feelings of "can we really do this?" And the answer is YES but only through the power of the Holy Spirit. If the Lord does not go before us we do not want to go at all. We want to follow the steps of our Great and Mighty God!!
What is the enemy attacking you about? I want to pray for you as well. May we storm the gates of Heaven for eachother today!!