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Monday, December 20, 2010

Peace and Pain

"For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government shall be upon his shoulders.  And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." ~Isaiah 9:6

I came across this verse in my quiet time this morning.  I have always heard it and even sang it a few times in Jr.High and High School choir growing up. But this morning a new meaning.

I was reading in Matthew chapter two where this specific prophecy (Isaiah 9:6) is fulfilled.  A baby is born and the Magi come to give Him gifts and they bow down and worship Him. 

What a magical moment!  The King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  Peace coming to earth!

But what I had never really realized came next...Herod sent out men who went from house to house searching for Jesus to kill Him.  They took every male under the age of 2 yrs old and killed them.  We hear a mothers lament in Matthew is Rachel weeping for her children because they are no more. 

Can you even imagine?  My heart aches just thinking of someone coming to my door and taking my sons and killing them right in front of me.  All because a proud king, King Herod, refused to acknowledge a higher King than himself.

What happened to the Prince of Peace.  Where is the peace?

Well...I realize now that peace is not in our circumstances.  It is in our hearts!

Right after our Savior was born, there was pain.  But after the pain, there is a promise!

This is Jeremiah's prophecy about Rachel's pain.
This is what the Lord says:  "A voice is heard in Ramah, mourning and great weeping, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because her children are no more."
This is what the Lord says:  "Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for your work will be rewarded," declares the Lord.
"They will return from the land of the enemy.  So there is hope for your future," declares the Lord.
"Your children will return to their own land."  ~Jeremiah 31:15, 16

God is sovereign. There is purpose in our pain. When you walk through the fire, He promises His children that they will not be burned.  When they walk through the water, they will not drown! (Isaiah 43)

In Bethlehem there was weeping and wailing because of King Herod's evil plot to kill innocent children.  But God has given us a promise..there will be a day when He comes for His children and there will be weeping no more!!!  Praise God!! 

You may have pain right now.  You may be going through one of the toughest times in your life so far.  But be encouraged that there is Hope!  God is Sovereign!  There is Peace!  Peace in knowing that we have a loving Sovereign God who holds our hand through every pain in our life.  He never leaves us!  Our precious Savior was still the "Prince of Peace" in the midst of Rachel's tears for her children.  He is ever-present!  He never turns His back. 

I need to be reminded of this because my heart hurts with pain sometimes.  Sometimes I want to bang my head up against a wall and scream, "WHY?"  In all honesty, at times I bought into the lie that I must deserve such pain.

The truth life is simply a path that God has orchestrated to draw me closer to Him and the purpose He has for me.

So this Christmas I am reminded of a sweet baby, Jesus!  But I am also reminded of the cross. And in both, we have a Prince of Peace!


Sunday, November 21, 2010

The blessings of discipling college girls

It seems like just yesterday Paul and I were taking a step of faith and reaching out to college students with the love of Jesus Christ.  Almost 3 months later we have the most precious relationships with college students and are blessed to be a part of their lives.  We are leading a college community group through our church and meeting with them on their turf  as we meet with them one-on-one as well as inviting them into our home.  LOVE IT!! 

I have to tell you, I have been so blessed through these relationships.  I can remember the first meeting, not being sure who was going to come....or if anyone would come at all.  We have a smaller group but it has been exactly what God wants.  I am continually amazed at God's sovereignty.  He knew exactly who would be in our group and He has created sweet friendships.

Here is a picture of the girls who came and helped me put up my Christmas decorations last week.  There is one girl, Katie, who was not able to come that night.
The are sooooo sweet and I am continually amazed at how they accept me.  They keep coming back week after week.  Now, they have become like little sisters to me.  I would say "little daughters" but I don't like feeling that old.  However, they can consider me to be their mom if they want to.  I love them that much!

I can't wait to see what God has in store for our group!  They each have their own stories and their own journey with the Lord.  God is doing wonderful things in their hearts.  He is drawing them to Himself in ways that only God, in His infinite wisdom, knows how to.  My prayer for them is that they would continue to relentlessly pursue the Lord and live for Him in a BIG way.  I pray that they would live their life out loud...  that they would not be ashamed but would "walk in a manner worthy." 

They have taught me more than they will ever know.  David Platt says in his book Radical, "When we take responsibility for helping others grow in Christ, it automatically takes our own relationship with Christ to a new level...We are, by nature, receivers.  Even if we have a desire to learn God's Word, we still listen from a default self-centered mind-set that is always asking, What can I get out of this?  But as we have seen , this is unbiblical Christianity.  What if we changed the question whenever we gathered to learn God's Word?  What if we began to think, How can I listen to his Word so that I am equipped to teach this Word to others?"

I am growing in my faith as I meet with these precious girlies!  They bring a smile to my face!  :)

Sarah, Michelle, Anna, Amy and Hailey  (Katie not pictured)

Thank you Lord Jesus for bringing them into my life!


Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Can God be Trusted?

Tanner and I went to Barnes and Noble Bookstore on one of our "Mommy Tanner days"  and I grabbed a book from the Christian section, as I usually do, and sat down in the little kiddy area so Tanner could play with the stuffed animals and look at books.  I picked up a book by Carol Ladd called Thrive don't Simply Survive.

As I was flipping through it, I came across the title, "Can God be Trusted?" I stopped to read and this is what she said, "Are we willing to trust God even though we don't understand his ways?"

I thought for a minute before reading on..."Huh, do I?"

Then I kept reading...She quoted Saint Bernard of Clairvauz, "If we begin to worship and come to God again and again by meditating, by reading, by prayer, and by obedience, little by little God becomes know to us through experience.  We enter into a sweet familiarity with God, and by tasting how sweet the Lord is we pass into...loving God, not for our own sake, but for Himself."

I think I stopped at this particular subject because it is right where I am at.  There are so many things that are out of my control right now and it is driving me crazy.  There are times that I think, "Seriously God, " as if He plays jokes on us.  And then there are times that I think, "God I know that you have this situation in the palm of Your hands.  I will walk with you wherever you lead." 

Encouragement came when I read Ladd's list of some reasons we have trials.

So...Why Trials?

1.  Trial offer us a chance to grow.
2.  Trials offer us an opportunity to empathize with and encourage others.
3.  Trials remind us of our need for God's care and help.
4.  Trials lead us back to our loving God.
5.  Sometimes trials are God's way of disciplining His children.
6.  Trials allow us, in a small way, to share in the suffering of Christ.

In all of this, I know that God is drawing me closer to Himself as long as I chose to follow Him through it. 

Can I trust Him? 

You bet!!

There is no one else I'd rather put my trust in than a loving Father who desires the best for me and will use every situation and circumstance to bring glory to Himself. 

John Calvin said it best, "Our inklings of the realities of God will be vague and smudged until we learn from Scripture to think correctly about the realities of which we are already aware."

Sometimes the trials are painful, but with every growing pain, I learn a different attribute of our precious Lord.  Every step brings clarity to His Word.  With every act of obedience bring blessings.  I am falling more and more in love with my Creator!

If you are going through a tough time I pray that God's Word would illumine the way. 

Trust Him! 

YES, He CAN be trusted!!


Sunday, October 24, 2010


I love the fall!  Just love it!!!  I think a lot of the reason  I love it so much is because my dad did when I was growing up.  He used to take us to all the seasonal activities and they soon became TRADITION to our family. 

I have started the same thing with our children.  I don't know if it is a good thing or not...Parker asked me the other day what kind of activities I had planned for trick or treating with our friends.  I giggled and said, "I don't know what do you think we should do?"  He said quite frankly, "I was thinking that we could maybe bake some cookies and decorated them, watch The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, and maybe make a haunted house in our bonus room."

He definitely is becoming like his mommy!!  He loves to entertain and plan for company.  I love that about him!  :)

This time of year brings about many changes.  I love seeing the colors of the leaves changing.  It is so amazingly beautiful.  I didn't see this growing up.  I grew up in the flat land of Lubbock, Texas, where every house had one tree in the back yard and one tree in the front yard (planted, not natural).  I don't know what kind of trees they were but they didn't change colors like the ones I see in Tennessee. 

Every time I see the trees becoming more and more vibrant with color it reminds me of my own journey with the Lord.  This is a hard season, but it is for my good.  I am being transformed more and more into HIS image. 

It reminds me of a song by Nichole Nordeman, Every Season.

And even when the trees have just surrendered

To the harvest time

Forfeiting their leaves in late September

And sending us inside

Still I notice You when change begins

And I am braced for colder winds

I will offer thanks for what has been and was to come

You are autumn

To Listen to it, click here

I absolutely love this song, and have since the first time I heard it.  When I first heard it I was in the season of caring for my sick mother who came to live with us.  She has since passed (over 2 years ago) and I definitely have gone through "seasons"  since then.  But what I am so in awe over is.....the Lord's ability to sustain me through each season.  Through each season, He never changes...He never leaves me!!!

The omnipresence of God is so comforting!  His provision and protection through being ever-present blows my mind!!

I have grown to know my precious Lord Jesus in such new and different ways with each season.  I have grown to see Him as so much more than a ticket to heaven.  He is my covenant partner and I long to bring glory to HIM in and through all that I do and say.

Today, I am just reflecting on HIS CHARACTER and all he has done for me as I gaze at His marvelous creation!

And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. ~2 Corinthians 3:18


Friday, October 8, 2010

A New Season in Life!

"My people have changed their glory for that which does not profit."  ~Jeremiah 2:11

Definitely a new season for the White household.  Through God's grace, we have been provided a place to stay while we continue to pursue ministry with college students at UT.

I started this post with this particular verse because even though I am VERY grateful for a place to transition into ministry, I am grieving leaving our current residence.   Even though we know 100% that God was leading us to sell is still a very hard transition.  I am trying so hard to not make it about "status" or "comfort."  But reality is...I still struggle with those at times. 

But the biggest hardship is "change."  I never really liked it but was always up for it.  But what I am realizing now is that with children involved it makes it even harder.  I start to doubt, thinking..."God, are we really hearing YOU?  You know we got a lot on the line here?"  And in those moments I want to settle for "comfort." 

Let me explain.  One evening before bedtime I curled up in bed with Parker because he was having a very hard day.  One of those where you see a 7 year old acting like a 2 year old.  So, I asked him if there was anything bothering him.  He buried his head in my shoulder and just started to cry uncontrollably.  Then he said, "I don't want to move.  I want to stay in this house." 

Now I know that he is just a 7 year old and he doesn't make family decisions. broke my heart.  I don't like to see my children hurting. 

Then it reminded me of when I was 11 years old.  I can vividly remember my mother telling me that she was going to be moving to a town 2 hours away for her job.  She told me that it would be for just 1 year.  She gave some complicated reason why she had to go for her job.  I can remember the emotions, the hurt, the lump in my throat and the pain in my stomach thinking of not having my mom around. 

And then when she finally did it.  Oh, the pain!!  The nights of crying myself to sleep.  The days at school feeling lonely and helpless.

And in that moment of God reminding me of my past, He also gave me joy in knowing that our family will be TOGETHER.  His sweet voice whispered in my ear, "Trust me.  All things work together for your good.  This is what is right and perfect for your FAMILY--to stay together and pursue ME!"

So, as we transition into this exciting season in our lives, my prayer is that we would not "exchange our glory for that which does not profit."  It doesn't matter where we are as long as we are moving towards our precious Lord and pursuing Him as a family.  He will take care of the rest.

More to come on this!  :)


Friday, September 17, 2010

Driving on UT Campus in a Mini Van!

It has been a crazy busy last couple of months.  A good crazy busy!  Is that possible?  :)

Paul and I have started pouring into college students again and we LOVE IT!  I was on campus for the first time in over 9 years meeting with girls this week.  I sat in Presidential Court learning more about their hearts and what God is doing in their lives.  Love them!  God has given me 3 wonderful girls to pour into right now and I amazed at how I have connected with each one of them.  I can see myself in each of them in different ways.  My heart goes out to them because I know that this is such a pivital time in their life. 

I continually have to renew my mind and not give into the lies that the enemy would want me to believe.  When I was walking back to my car after meeting on campus with these sweet girls, I started thinking, "Who am I?  What do I have to offer these girls?  Am I kidding myself?  Can I really make a difference?" 

And then I heard the Lord whisper in my ear...

"You are mine sweet Kerry.  You just be faithful to do what I have called you to do and let Me handle the results.  I have called you to be here for such a time as this and I will use you for My glory."

And then I got in my mini van and drove off.  Humbling!  I wasn't the coolest  cat on campus but I was faithful!  :)

I am learning a lot about being obedient in following God wherever He leads.  It is not alway easy but it is sooooo rewarding. 

I am excited to see what God has in store for me and these sweet college students!

"Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass."  ~1Thessalonians 5:24


Saturday, September 4, 2010


Stress!  Unfortunately this is something that I have become very good friends with.  Man, where do I start? 

I am just going to lay it out and be very vulnerable here people.  I have had heart problems for over a year now as a result of it.  Heart palpitations that I can't seem to control.  Anxiety that has taken over my life.  I started to fear the weirdest things.  Elevators, sicknesses, airplanes, accidents, etc.  You name it, I could come up with a fear for it.

Now I know that we are not to fear but we are to trust the Lord.  I was trying to with all my heart but for some reason I couldn't control my mind.

Let me back up and just say that Paul and I have had a lot of circumstances in our lives that would cause some stress in our lives.  My mom came to live with us a little over 3 years ago.  We moved into a bigger house so that she could have her own space.  She had Pulmonary Fibrosis so we were also her caregivers.  Running to Doctor's appointments, helping her with her meds and oxygen, all the while trying to raise two very young boys.  When we moved her here from Texas we projected 5-8 years before her disease would catch up with her.  Well, we were wrong.  Once the Doctor's here in Knoxville saw her and ran all sorts of test on her, we realized very quickly that she was in the last stage of her disease.  They gave us 6 months to 1 year.  We made it to the year mark and then the Lord decided to take her home one month later.

It is hard to look back and remember all the feeling that I felt at that time because they were so deep.  Just one year before her passing I was packing up her belongs in the house I had grown up in.  I still remember the day that I walked through the house with it empty.  It was as though I could hear all the little voices.  Us kids running through the house playing, the dog barking and the screen door slamming.  Then is was silent and all I could hear was the sound of the refrigerator running.  A very familiar and distinct sound.  But still it was quiet, still.  I could hear the sounds of the wood floors squeaking as I walked across the floor.  And then I just started crying.  So many memories flooded my mind.  Some very happy moments and some not so happy moments.  But still, it was my childhood and I felt like I was leaving a part of myself in that house.  I will never forget 210 52nd Street, 806-747-1121.  My mom and I got in the car and drove off.  I stopped. We could see our house in the rear view mirror.  It was like we couldn't do it.  We couldn't drive off.  We both cried.  Then we just drove off.  No one said a word but we knew what each other were feeling.  I am sure she was feeling something even deeper since she invested a lot more in that house than I did with my dad who passed away when I was 23. 

So grieving the house I grew up with, the loss of both parents and trying to navigate through life with a husband and two young boys seemed to be all too much for my body.  Then add to that financial stress, trying to sell a house in a horrible economy, a job that was struggling in the down economy, trying to make the bills each month and keep your head above heart just started going crazy, racing and skipping beats.

Well, long story short....I went to the Doctor, got on some medication, started exercising, eating better, cutting out the caffeine and re-evaluating my life.

The theme:  Simplicity!!!  Richard Foster in his book Celebration of Disciplines says, "Simplicity is freedom.  Duplicity is bondage.  Simplicity brings joy and balance.  Duplicity brings anxiety and fear."

I realized that I had Duplicity and I started saying "no" more, I cut back activities that were not necessary, I stopped trying to keep up with the Joneses.  (I still struggle with all of these though)

"Simple living is not about existing in poverty or self-inflicted deprivation.  Rather, it is about living an examined life--one in which you have determined what is important, or 'enough,' for you and your family, and then discarding the rest."  ~Jill Savage in Living with Less so your Family has More

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these thing will be added to you." ~Matthew 6:33 (ESV)

I can across this song this morning in my quiet time.  It is the cry of my heart.  I pray it will be yours too! 

I want to hide in you, the Way, the Life, the Truth
and I can disappear
and love is all there is to see coming out of me
and You become clear as I disappear

Click here to listen to the song.

We can say "no" to stress, if we say yes to Jesus.  He is the only One that can give us rest!

"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.  Sufficient for the day is it's own trouble."  ~Matthew 6:34 (ESV)


Friday, August 27, 2010

Rock Star Mom

One of the things that I have been processing lately is my parenting.  And what I have come to realize is....I am parenting the way I think others think I should parent instead of the way the Lord is leading me to parent. 

Let me explain.  I am a people pleaser and a perfectionist.  NOT A GOOD COMBINATION!  The last thing I want people to think about me is that I am a "horrible mother."  So...what I tend to do is take on every advise or look around at what others are doing and I "do."  But you know what?  Just "doing" is not changing my kiddos hearts.  God created everyone VERY different and what works for one child does not work for the other. 

I hate to admit that I used to me "one of those" who would sit in judgement when a child would be out of control.  I would think,  "If their parents would just (fill in the blank), then they wouldn't act that way.  Give me one day with that child and I will show them!"  Please tell me I am not the only hypocrite out there!!!

But now, after having one of "those kids," I realize that there is not a formula to cause obedience from our children.  There is not a formula because formulas don't take into account that everyone is different, unique.  But what we do have is....GOD!!  God is our creator!  He is the one that made each one of us.  So He knows what will work!! 

"Come let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker; for he is our God and we are the people of his pasture, the flock under his care."  ~Psalm 95:6,7

So what I am learning to do (and I say learning because I still struggle with this) is not to worry about those around me but to pour out my heart to God and ask him to show me how to guide Parker and Tanner to obedience and ultimately draw them into His loving arms.

Now, I am not saying that we shouldn't seek advise from our believing friends.  But what I don't need to do is to "do" just because that is what others are doing.  I need to bring that advise to the Lord, our Creator, and say, "Lord will this work for Parker or Tanner?"  I get lots of wonderful ideas from wonderful books, friends, blogs, etc.  But my personality is to say, "Oh good, if I just do this, then_________."

Well.....I am here to tell you that "just doing" doesn't work.  My sweet Parker has taught me that.  He is such a gentle spirit but a hard nut to crack.  Very deep, very complicated.  I am very thankful for Parker because he has reminded me that I need to be on my knees asking his CREATOR how to minister to his soul.

So, I want you to know that any advise you read on this blog is not for everyone.  Pray about it, ask the Lord to show you if the advise is something that will work for your family.  Now, there definitely are basic principles that we all need to apply across the board.  But weather or not you should let your children watch Star Wars is not one of them.  :)

"One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike;  Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.  He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord."  ~Romans 14:5-6

Whatever you do, do it as unto the Lord.  And let's not judge one anothers heart.

Dear friends, I am sharing this with you today because this is something that I struggle with on a daily basis.  I have learned to give more grace when I see a mother struggling to keep her child under control.  So many times I have beat myself up thinking that I had done something wrong along the parenting road and that is why my children act the way they do.  Was is because I wasn't mentally there for them when my mom lived with us?  Was I neglecting my children as I took care of my sick mother?  Did I traumatize them when I yelled at them.  What about that one time I grabbed Parker's arm real hard.  Did I scare him for life.  Will he always resent me for that?  What about TV?  Do I let them watch too much TV?  Are they learning this stuff on TV?  Where is the root of it???  Where, where, where, I want to fix it!!

And what I hear the Lord telling me today is....."Whatever you do, do it unto Me and I will fill in the gaps.  There is grace in parenting.  Just follow me."


You know the truth is, people may think that I am a bad parent.   But what matters to me is what God thinks about my parenting!  And God thinks I am a rock star!

Lord Jesus, help me be a rock star mom for YOU today! 


Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Go to the Mattresses

How many of you remember this phrase from the movie, You've Got Mail?  The phrase came from the movie, The Godfather and it means "all out war."

This is what we must do with sin!

Last night I heard our teaching Pastor talk to 900 college students about "going to war with sin."  It hit me to the core.  This is something that we all need to hear.

One thing he talked about was cutting out the very things you struggle with.  For example if there are TV shows that causes you to stumble, then why do you still have your TV?  Sounds extreme, huh?  Well, that is what "going to the mattresses" looks like.  Does that mean that you can never have your TV back?  No!  Maybe it means cutting it out for a season. 

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness."   ~Eph 4:22-24

A challenge to all of us today:  "Go to the Mattresses!"

Be reminded that sin is very real and the enemy is lurking to trip you up today.

Ask the Lord to renew your mind today and let's go to war.

Thanks Greg Pinkner for another awesome message.
click here to hear the message title "The New Life."


Monday, August 16, 2010

The Most Important Things in Life

"The Most Important Things in Life Aren't Things"

This is what the speaker talked about at the family camp we were at this weekend.  I think the Lord is trying to tell me something!  :)

In my last post I talked about the book Living with Less so Your Family has More.  I have been pondering this for days now and God affirmed my thoughts this weekend at family camp.

You see, I was reminded at Family Camp that there is a battle going on for our kids' hearts.  The enemy would love for us to fill our lives with "things" to distract us from coming to the throne of God.  The enemy would love to keep us busy so that we don't even think of Jesus and the abundant life He desires for us to experience. 

"What good will it be for man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?"  ~Matt 16:26

"But godliness with contentment is great gain.  For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.  But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that." 
~1 Timothy 6:6-8

Contentment---The word “contentment” comes from the Greek word “arkeo” meaning “to be enough” or “to be sufficient”.

To be honest, we live in a culture that tells us that nothing is ever enough---you need the biggest and best of everything----which is impossible to do because there is always something bigger and better.

We are teaching our children the art of discontentedness by giving them "things" and catapulting them right into the enemies hands.

In reality what our children really want and desire is not "things."  It is US!  For they don't know yet that what they are truly yearning for is Jesus.  But God has given Paul and I the awesome role of guiding our children to Him and being examples of His character so that they will some day come to know Him and rely on Him to be their all in all.

My prayer is that God will be enough for our family.  May we not give in to the enemies schemes to take our hearts away from our Creator by busyness and "things." 

God You are all-sufficient.  You ARE enough!  May we not get caught in the things of this world but be content in your provision.  You are about our hearts, not our status.  Work on our hearts to be conformed to yours, oh Lord!  ~amen


Pictures of us at Family Camp @ Sharp Top Cove

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Living with Less

I have been pondering the issues of my last post and the Lord has revealed a lot to me over the past serval days.

Side note....I forgot to tell you in the last post that Ladd sugguests going and buying a used Bible or use a Bible that you already have that you can mark in. She said that she uses a different maker for each person in her family and uses sticky notes to write notes about certain situations to pray for with that particular scripture.

As I have been praying for Parker and his heart attitude, the Lord has revealed to me some areas that need attention. The Lord confirmed this by leading me to a book called Having Less so Your Family Can Have More by Mark and Jill Savage.

Our culture believes that bigger is better, but Jill and Mark Savage believe that being satisfied with less materially can allow you to give your family more-emotionally, relationally, and spiritually.

What gleamed from the book:
Make constructive sacrifices, but avoid destructive ones. Making certain types of sacrifices can benefit your family by freeing up more time for them. These include: comfort, sleep, hobbies, entertainment or recreational activities, and career pursuits. However, be sure not to ever sacrifice your relationship with God, your marriage, or your identity, because doing so would harm your family.

Okay, so where I am I going with this?

Well.....I have been convicted that "Living with Less" doesn't always mean downsizing your home but it is a heart attitude. It is a way of life in every decision you make for your family. The thing that Paul and I have come to realize is that we have fed into the "Having more" attitude and not teaching our kids to be content. When your child has a Wii, Game cube, every movie known to man, every toy ever created, their own room with a TV and access to it whenever, able to go to the pantry and get whatever they want whenever they want to get the food that they demanded at the grocery store.....something is wrong.

I hate to admit that this is where we are at!

We have made some major changes in the White household. I don't like to call them "rules" but rather "boundaries" we have set to point our children to Christ and less on the World.

If we sale our house and move into a smaller one (which we are waiting on the Lord's provision on that as a for sale sign sits in our yard) yet our attitues of "having" have not changed, then what have we gained? Sometimes the most important decisions are not the big ones but the smaller daily ones.

I will write more about this as God reveals. But for now I challenge you to see where your heart is. Whether single, married, married with kiddos. Are you following into the footsteps of the world or God?

Am I saying that having "things" is bad? Absolutely not!

Here is what wrote on the practical application of Mark and Jill Savage's book:

Our culture constantly says that you need more in your life: a bigger house, a newer car, better clothes, more activities. But none of that reflects what God says is most important: healthy relationships. Pursuing what truly matters requires living with less - not more - so you'll be free to grow closer to God and other people.

Pursue simplicity. Realize that living simply isn't about deprivation; instead, it's about determining what's truly important and discarding the rest from your life. Pursue inward simplicity by examining your heart often and keeping it fully focused on God. Pursue outward simplicity by expressing your values through your lifestyle decisions, such as: buying items for their usefulness rather than for their status, rejecting anything that's addictive to you, making a habit of giving things away, refusing to believe that you need the newest and the best, learning to enjoy things without owning them, developing a deeper appreciation for creation, resisting "buy now, pay later" schemes, speaking plainly and honestly, rejecting anything that oppresses others, and turning away from anything that distracts you from seeking God's kingdom first in life.

This is still all very new and fresh and the Lord is still dealing with me on these very issues. I just pray that I would be silent enough to hear His voice and then follow.

I would love to hear your thoughts!

Not perfect, but being perfected in Him,


Sunday, August 1, 2010


I was laying out by the pool yesterday reading The Power of a Positive Mom and watching my kiddos splash in the pool. I was reading Chapter 6: A Positive Mom is a Praying Mom.

Karol Ladd says, "Do you want to make a positive impact on the next generation? Become a praying mom!"


I am not saying that I don't pray. I do. But I often forget to pray for the very people I live with...Paul, Parker and Tanner. I can tend to only pray when a situation arises--crisis mode. Like a few days ago when we were at the pool, one of my neighbors and good friend told me that I should talk to Parker about what he was saying.

It is not important for you to know what he said but let's just say.....It sounded like something you would see on Dateline.

I mean what do you do? I pulled Parker aside and immediately started asking questions to get to the root of it, of why he would say such things. I reminded him of what God thought about what he said and then reminded him of how much God loved him and desires him to reflect His character.

You better believe I got on my knees that night and asked the Lord to help Parker make better choices. But the thing is, I don't want to react. I want to be proactive.

Yesterday a friend of mine reminded me of John Wesley's mother, Susanna, who was a devoted prayer warrior. Susanna believed very strongly in daily prayer and if she could not find a private place in the house to pray, she put her apron over her head as a sign to the children to be extra quiet, mom was praying.

Makes me want to go out and buy an apron! :)

I truly want to become a woman of prayer. Not only for my family but for those that God puts in my life.

Some suggestions from Ladd's book:

1. Set aside a time to meet with God

2. Find a place to meet with God without distractions. (Buy an apron if you need too.) :)

3. Set aside a Bible in the household for use as your family's "prayer Bible." Highlight the passages and promises for which you want to pray for you and your family. You may want to use a different color marker for each family member.

Here are some suggested verses that Ladd gives to help get you started.

  • Pray that they will come to know Christ and follow him (Romans 10:9-11)
  • Pray that they will be able to recognize evil and hate it (Psalm 97:10)
  • Pray that when they do something wrong, they will be caught (Psalm 119:17)
  • Pray for protection against the evil one (John 17:15)
  • Pray that they will be kind and forgiving towards others (Ephesians 4:32)
  • Pray that they'll have courage to stand up for what is right (Joshua 1:7)
  • Pray that they will have respect for authority (Romans 13:1)
  • Pray that they will chose wise friends (Proverbs 13:20)
  • Pray for their future spouse, that they will marry a godly person (2 Corinthians 6:14-17)
  • Pray for them to submit to God and resisit the devil (James 4:7)
This morning I got out my "household Bible" and started marking verses for my family. AND I actually got up before the boys did to spend time with my sweet Father. It was so refreshing to sit out on the screened porch with a cut of coffee, my "household Bible," my journal just pouring my heart out to Him.
I encourage you to do the same. If you have to put a blanket over your head and tell your children that when you have the blanket over your head you are spending time praying with the Father, your children will grow to honor and respect that time. Who knows they may just grow up with a heart like John Wesley. :)

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Serving and Submitting

We just got back from a six day trip to Atlanta!  It was FUN, FUN, FUN!  The book I chose to take with me to read while we were there was a book by Elizabeth George called A Woman After God's Own Heart.  The particular chapters that I was reading just so happened to be "A Heart the Serves" and "A Heart that Submits."  Not so bad right? 

Well.....she is talking about serving and submitting to your husband!  BAM!

I thought that this was very comical of God sense vacations can be such a tense experience with directions, decisions, different ideas of relaxing, etc.  Actually, Paul and I had done pretty well up to that point.  We made it to the hotel without arguing.  Only a few barks at the kids when they asked us to please turn up the movie right when we were in Downtown Atlanta traffic coming up on the exit we were to take.  I couldn't blame them because we actually had turned down their movie so we could concentrate.  Later we had to apologize for yelling at them and explained why we were so tense in the Atlanta traffic.  I don't think they really understood because of course we are supposed to be superman and superwoman to them.  Why in the world would be need to concentrate to drive?  ha!

Needless to say, on day one I was laying out by the pool reading these words, "And just what is this 'helper' from Genesis 2:18?  Borrowing a few of Jim's Bible study books, I learned that a helper is one who shares man's responsibilities, responds to his nature with understanding and love, and wholeheartedly cooperates with him in working out the plan of God." 

Elizabeth George went on to say that she realized that she was on assignment by God to be a helper and to submit to her husband. 

WOW!  Smack in the face!  I realize that I have a lot to learn about being a good helper and submitting to my husband.  But here are some questions we can ask ourselves...

Are we giving the gift of headship to your husband through your heart attitude of submission?
Are you experiencing the rightness that comes from a decision to follow God's plan for marriage?

I can honestly say that we avoided many arguments on our vacation because I practiced being a good helper and submitting to Paul.  To be honest with you, at first I thought, "Are you serious?  I have to serve another person? What about ME?" But then, I realized that it had nothing to do with Paul and everything to do with the Lord. 

My prayer is that I would continue to reveal my respect for Paul in the daily instances.  I pray that I would respond positively to him and that I would remember to stop and think, "am I bending or bucking?"  After all, a woman after God's own heart has a heart for serving her husband.

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. ~ Eph. 5:22


Sunday, July 18, 2010

A Heart Responsive to God

"If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us." ~1 John 1:8

" If we confess our sins, He is faithful adn righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." ~1 John 1:9

What I am realizing is that I am not calling sin "sin." I can tend to justify my actions. Sometimes I am so desensitized that I am not even convicted of sin. But the reality is...I have sin in my life that I am not dealing with!

I was reading Elizabeth George's book for my quiet-time this morning called A Woman After God's Own Heart. She talked about calling sin "sin" and by doing so we train our heart to be responsive to God's convicting spirit. She says that the split second you think or do anything contrary to God's heart, stop immediately! She states that such action is key to training your heart to be responsive to God.

Of course we have to be in the Word to be able to identify sin in our lives. We need to Truth in order to know what is false.

I was in a situation the other day where I was starting to have thoughts that where not in line with God's Word and immediately God brought truth to my mind about that situation. I was able to say, "wait a minute, what am I thinking? This is not what God thinks about this. His Word says......!

Can you think of any situation where you are making excues about your disobedience? Are you obeying God only halfway?

Do you know what kind of attitude and heart that God desires?

As Elizabeth George says, "As you desire all that God desires, loves all that He loves, and humble yourselve under His might hand (1 Peter 5:6), then your heart will indeed be a heart after God. What a blessed thought!"


Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Thank God for the Fleas!

Today I am pondering the fact that I tend to be so wishy washy.  I am so on fire for the Lord one minute and then....the arrows of life!  They seem to get me down every time.  But what I have realized is that I am wanting everything to be smooth sailing.  I don't want to have to fight the flaming arrows of doubt, frustration, disappointment, discomfort, heartache.  I just want to bury my head in the sand sometimes. 

But the Lord so gently reminded me of one of my favorite godly women of all times...Corrie Ten Boom!  LOVE HER!!

Corrie was a Dutch Christian Holocaust survivor who helped many Jews escape the Nazis during World War II.  She and her family were caught hiding Jews in their attic.  She and her sister, Betsie were eventually sent to Ravensbrück concentration camp in Germany. Ravensbruck was one of the worst concentration camps in Germany.

From The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom:

"Fleas and lice were so thick that upon entering the bunkroom, one became swarmed in them. The stench of burning flesh from those that were murdered without warning was a constant stare into the face of death. The food was one half pound of bread and one half liter of soup per day. The work was so hard that the women had swollen legs and were losing circulation in no time."

From Corrie ten Boom-Light in the Holocaust

Corrie and Betsie had smuggled a Bible into the camp and traded it back and forth during the day. If the guards found one or caught anyone having meetings, they were to be executed. At first, the women held these meetings very timidly. But as the weeks wore on and no guards came into the bunkroom, they grew bolder. Corrie marveled at this.
Why was it that no guard came in?

Betsie excitedly told Corrie, "I found out for sure, Corrie. I overheard two guards. The guards will not step foot in the bunkroom because of the FLEAS! Thank God for the fleas!" she exclaimed. The women added that to their prayers daily."

...Corrie endured all the cruelties inflicted upon her bravely, the ones she could not bear were the ones inflicted on her already weak sister. Betsie greeted each day and each trial with the same sweet smile, rejoicing in the fact that she could share Jesus' love with her fellow prisoners. Corrie did everything in her power to help her dying sister, but the horrible conditions, rampid filth and piercing cold overtook her. Before she died, Betsie said something to Corrie that would stay with her for the rest of her life "We must go everywhere and tell everyone. They will believe us, because we were here. We must tell them that there is no pit so deep that He is not deeper still."


What courage and strength!

I pray that I would be able to thank God for the fleas!!!  I also pray that I would be about God's business and not get caught up in the things of this world.  I pray that I would have the same sense of urgency that Betsie had to tell everyone about Him.... that "there is no pit so deep that He is not deeper still."

So when I start questioning God's timing, doubting His call on my life, fearing the future....I will remember the life of Corrie and Betsie ten Boom!

Thank you Lord for godly women who have walked before us!


Friday, July 9, 2010

"Watch your tone!"

These are the words I constantly say to my two boys.  It seems that they have decided that it is okay to talk to me in a disrespectful way.  The funny thing about it is that I say back to them, "Watch your tone with me young man."  And guess what kind of tone I use?  

You guessed it!

A mean spirited one. 

I would justify it by thinking that I am just demanding respect, showing them who's boss, enlighting them to who has authority over them.  After all God appointed Paul and I to be their authority, right? in my quiet time the Lord revealed something very eye-opening to me.  I heard His gentle voice say, "How is your tone being received?"


Paul had always said that I have a harsh tone sometimes.  He will yell from across the house when he needs me, "Kerry!"

And I would yell back, "What!"  But my "what" is not in a "how can I help you" way.  It is more like, "What now"  kind of way.  Like he is annoying me.

Which leads me to another observation.....We are a yelling family!  I hate it! We are always yelling from the top or bottom of the stairs.  We are yelling from room to room.  We yell when our kids are not obeying (as if getting louder will do the trick). 

Now I am not saying that yelling is wrong.  There are times that we need to yell.  If Parker or Tanner are about to get hit by a car, I am not going to whisper their names.  You better believe I am going to yell from the top of my lungs.  But what I have realized is that I yell when yelling isn't even necessary and definitely not in an encouraging  tone.  I say things in the "you're annoying me" tone.  I am going to be honest...I struggle with this.  Because to be honest, sometimes they are annoying me. 

So here is where the rubber meets the road.  My children are going to hear harsh tones and hurtful words all day from other kids or even teachers (who like us, don't realize they are doing it). I want to encourage them and build up their self-esteem.  Not tear it down!  I have a bad habit of making my boys feel like they are the scum of the earth for being so disrespectful. 

Here is what The Power of a Positive Mom has to say:

"When our children have nothing positive to believe about themselves, their emotional bank accounts can become bankrupt---overdrawn by the negative comments and disappointments that occur every day in the world around them."

"We need to be deliberate about building up our children's strengths and putting regular deposits in their emotional bank accounts."

Now you are probably thinking I am not giving myself enough grace. You would never witness my harshness because I would put my best foot forward with my friends. But when there is no one around my guard is down.Yuck! Why can't I just realize that God is still watching?

So my challenge is to become more aware of the tone I am using and what I am communicating to them.  I want to love them the way Christ loves them.  I want to point them to Jesus!  I want to encourage them to become the men that God called them to be.  I want them to know that no matter what....I love them and think great things about them. 

Dear Precious Lord, be with me today as I point Parker and Tanner towards You.  May my words and tone be firm yet gentle and loving when they disobey or have a mean spirit.  I pray that my first reaction would not be to have a mean spirit back, but I would show them to react to disappointments with the power of the Holy Spirit.  I also pray that you would stop us when we start to yell with harsh tones.  Remind Paul and I that we are to be examples and help us to make a change in the way we respond.   ~amen

"An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up." ~Proverbs 12:25


Monday, July 5, 2010

Death and Dying

It has been two years since my sweet mom has gone to be with the Lord.  I will never forget July 5, 2008.  The weather was much like it is today. 

I always get a little sad when June and July roll around because it reminds me of the events that occurred leading up to my mom passing. 

June 28, 2008 my mom fell in the middle of the night.  It was around 4am and I could hear her calling out, "help, help!"  I ran down the hall to her room to find her on the floor in front of her closet door.  Apparently she had gotten confused in the middle of the night and thought that the closet door was the way to the bathroom (later we would find out it was due to a lack of oxygen from her disease).  Paul and I both tried to help her up and get her acclimated.  It took her a long time to catch her breath.  We had to turn her oxygen up to it's full capacity until she could finally breathe normal again. 

I will never forget that night.  I went back into my bedroom and just cried my eyes out.  Paul came and gave me a hug and I just let it go.  The tears were coming and I couldn't stop it because I knew in my heart that we were nearing the end of my moms journey with Pulmonary Fibrosis.  When she first came to live with us the doctors had given her 6mos. to a year to live.  We had just celebrated the year mark weeks before this incident.

As the Lord would have it, my mom passed away a week later.  I was able to be by her side when the Lord called her home.  Loving my mom into the Kingdom was an honor.  A blessing! 

I haven't met very many people my age that have lost both parents.  My dad passed away from complications with emphysema when I was 23 years old.  That was a  very difficult day as well...February 19, 1996.  Losing my dad was one of the hardest things in my life up to that point.  I literally thought I was going to lose it.  But one day after spending some time with the Lord I thought to myself, "I can't lose it now.  This is not the last tragedy I will face in life." 

You see the reality is...we are all like a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away (James 4:14).  We don't know what tomorrow holds. 

This is what inspires me to make a difference TODAY!  There are people out there that need the Lord and are searching for Him.  We can be the light! I can't think of any other blessing and honor than to lead others to our Great and Mighty King.  People are dying all around us...physically and spiritually.  

Who can you pray for today?  Who can you talk to today?  Make an effort to reach out to someone with God's love!  You will be blessed!


Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Let us not conform but be TRANSFORMED!

Today I was reading a book that had some pretty startling information.  A poll done in 2004 showed that while 42 percent of Americans claim to be born again Christians only 10 percent of  all those polled can point to a transforming encounter with Christ.

Very convicting to me!

I reflected  on my own  journey with Christ and wondered which percentile I might fall under.

I was reminded of the apostle Paul's plea regarding transforming our lives:

"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, [which is] your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what [is] that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." ~Romans 12:1-2

Does my life really look any different than the world?  I must admit that I get caught up in the things of this world.  If you have read my earlier posts you know that there are some exciting things going on in our lives that involve ministry.  But I have to be honest and say that there are several times during the day that I start to think, "What are we thinking, we can't just pick up and move.  What about Parker's school.  What about our Christian neighbors.  What about the security of knowing that my kids are safe in this neighborhood.. And what about our 'stuff.'  I don't want to have to sell anything.  It is all very sentimental.  How will I part from it?" 

While I am not saying that God doesn't care about those things, it is not to be the driving force behind what we do.  I struggle with this.  I want so much to take care of my children and make choices that will keep them safe, protected, out of harms way. 

But here is the TRUTH.....we are not "secure" or "safe" if we are not following Jesus.  To be governed by the world is actually the most unsafe and harmful place to be.  And as far as our 'stuff' my mom used to say, "you can't take it to Heaven with you." 

You know, I don't know where we will live next?  But I know that I don't want to get caught in cycle of never having enough.  I desire to live my life for Christ and make a difference in a BIG way.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I would be THRILLED if God chose to keep us in this house.  But I would be just as thrilled if we lived in a shack near the UT campus sharing the gospel with college students! 

Desiring a pure and holy passion,

Monday, June 28, 2010

Lessons from a Hairy Situation

...preach the word, be ready in season and out of season, reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction.  For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires; and will turn away their ears form the truth, and will turn aside to myths.    ~2 Timothy 4:2-4

(Continuing from my earlier entry, "Why do I speak before thinking?")

Here is what I learned through the hairy situation with my best friend:

1.  There is a way to communicate TRUTH!
I have a lot of my mom in me.  She was a very spunky Hispanic women that would just say things the way she saw them.  She would call a spade a spade and continue to tell you what she thought about it (and with some spanish words thrown in here and there).  There wasn't a lot of grace in her delivery but we all [me and my 3 siblings] learned to understand that she was wired a little differently and she meant well.

I don't think that God calls us to "mean well" but He does call us to "love well."  And loving is speaking His Word and allowing His Spirit to work in and through us.  My prayer is that I would hide God's word in my heart and would be prepared in season and out to handle the curve balls that are thrown my way.

"For the Word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joint and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart."   Hebrews 4:12 

2. I forget that their are people who are dealing with big sin issues in their life and need to be gently steered toward/back to the Father.  I guess you could say that I live in kind of a "christian bubble."  My friends all have pretty much the same values.  So when someone shares with me some of the things like my best friend shared with me, I am at a loss for words.  Okay, so this is where I begin to sound judgemental.  However we are not talking about having different opinions on issues.  It is flat out SIN!

3.  I am a people-pleaser and don't like it when people don't like me or think I am "judgemental." 

But as one dear friend always says, "God didn't call us to be best friends with everyone but He has called us to disciple."  God's Word is TRUTH and we are NOT to stand for anything else.  Does it mean that we have it all together and we are perfect?  No!  But when God reveals a truth to us, we are to live our life by it.  We are to be transformed.  Which leads me to......

4.  Not everyone knows the truth! 
...a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God; for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised  ~1Corinthians 2:14

This is why the apostle Paul speaks to the church at Corinth as "men of flesh, as to babes in Christ."  He gave them milk to drink and not solid food for they were not ready for it yet.  They were not able to receive it. 

Here is where I struggle!  I talk to people like they should a "duh" kind of way.  I seem to forget my own journey with God and what He did for me.  I didn't just automatically wake up one day and decide that I was going to follow Jesus and everything was "happy ever after."  No.  It's a journey, a process!  God is still working on me.  He is refining me daily! 

I want to learn to pray for discernment and wisdom in how to speak to someone.  Do I speak to them as a "spiritual man" or a "natural man."  It makes a difference in how we speak to each one.  With the first we can maybe speak in a "loving duh" kind of way.  But with the last we need to break it down and take it back to the basics.  This is where my dear best friend is.  Oh I pray that I would have discernment to speak.

Oh Lord Jesus forgive me for making _______________ feel like a fool the other day with my duh kind of attitude.  I can tend to write people off if they are not "getting it" instead of relying on Your Spirit to guide me.  I realize that this is going to be a long road of more conversations with ________________ and it can get hairy.  I pray that I would not shrink away from the TRUTH about her sin because of feeling "judgemental" but I pray that I would remember where I have come from and speak in terms that she can understand. Bring scripture to mind that I can gently speak and I pray that through the sharp two-edged sword _________________ would return to you.  Lord I also know that speaking TRUTH and standing on it could mean a loss of a 24 year old friendship.  And even thought it saddens me, I would go there with You because I know that the motive is LOVE.  Thank you for Who You are and all that You do. ~amen 

Still learning and processing,


Saturday, June 26, 2010

Why do I speak before thinking?

So what do you do when your best friend of 24 years decides she no longer wants to talk to you because you are "judgemental."  O, my heart hurts right now.  She is my one friend that I could talk to that no matter how much time went by between phone calls, we would just pick up where we left off.  We have history, deep kindred spirits.  Over the years we both have gone through our struggles but the one thing that was beginning to get blurry was that I was choosing to walk my life out with the Lord while she was beginning to make decisions that were not so much in line with God's Word.  I can't really tell you the details but I talked to her today and unintentionally let my words sting her.  I truly didn't mean for them to.  She was wanting some advice and prayer and I told her that it was hard to tell her what I thought she should do because we had different values.  Okay, okay, so if you knew the details of the situation you would definitely tell me that my words were flaming arrows to an already wounded heart.  My downfall is when things seem black and white to me, I tend to just say what I feel. Although what she was wanting advise on was undeniably against God's Word, I could have chosen to rely on the Spirit to respond.

Why do I do this?  I even had a quiet time today about going to the Lord before responding to a situation and asking Him to give you the words to say.  Why did I just blurt out hurting words that, to be honest with you, did seem judgemental at the time.  What hurts the most is...that after all these years she is choosing to believe that I am judgemental instead looking back over the history we have together to gather her opinions about me.  In one fell swoop, I managed to break up a 24 year old friendship.

My prayer now is that God would use this in both of our lives to teach us more about Him and draw us closer to Him and closer as friends.  I have learned that I can tend to be harsh in my delivery instead of being gentle and kind and lovingly sharing the truth.  I need to take the time to say, "okay God, you know how I feel, but what is TRUTH and how do I deliver it in such a way that reveals You and Your gentle and loving heart." 

And do you know that my first reaction after the heart-wrenching text (yes, this was all over texting) was that I was "right" and she was so wrong to even think such a thing.  So gross for me to even admit but it is true.  Pride at its best! 

To bring true restoration, I must admit my part and ask her to forgive me.   

"Lord, you know my heart and You know the deep love I have for __________.  I pray that you would put Your healing hand on our friendship and make known Your wonderful and awesome character of love and forgiveness.  I pray that this one comment I made would not ruin a 24 year old friendship but would be a platform for revealing who YOU truly are.  I ask for forgiveness for thinking that I was in the right and justifying why I said what I did.  Lord I pray Proverbs 3:6, that in all my ways I would acknowledge you and you would make my path straight.  Show me the next step to take in this situation.  Be the guard over my tongue.  Bring restoration!"    Thank you that Your steadfast love never ceases and Your mercies never come to an end             ~In Jesus name, amen.

Not perfect, but being perfected!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010


Some of you have emailed me and shared your heart with me. I was honored to beseech the Lord on your behalf last night and ask Him for covering over you.   I am truly honest when I say that I want to hear from you. Last night the Lord brought a song to mind.  It is on Amy Grants new Album, Somewhere Down the Road.  My good friend and mentor reminded me of it when she was sharing with me some hurts of her own yesterday. The Lord brought it back to mind when I was pouring out cries to Him last night.  I just started crying.  I have friends that are hurting and struggling.  Not losing hope, but hurting hearts. 

Life is HARD! We are not promised that things will be easy. Matter of fact we are actually guaranteed that things will be difficult. BUT we have a BIG GOD who is with us. He wants to hear our cries. It felt so good to just let out the tears last night as I went to the throne of God. A wise women once told me that "tears heal." And I must say that I felt a sense of healing last night. Refreshed, revived!

Click and  listen.

We pour out our miseries,
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are,
the honest cries of breaking hearts
are better than an halleluja

I think we can all agree that life is hard.  But what will we do when life gets harder?  Will we still stand for Christ and not waver?  Will we still have faith?  Will we live for Christ and not the world?

In  the book of Jeremiah he (Jeremiah) is starting to lose hope.  The people are not listening to the truth.  They are turning to other gods and chosing to listen to false prophets.  The Lord replies...

"If you have run with footmen and they have tired you out,
Then how can you compete with horses?
If you fall down in the land of peace,
How will you do in the thicket of the Jordan?"    Jeremiah 12:5

In other words, how will you do when the heat is turned up?  The Israelites were about to go into captivity and things were about to get really ugly for them.  The same is true for us.  I don't know when the Lord would chose to come back for His people, but I do know that before He comes it will get pretty ugly.  We have a choice.  My prayer is that we would chose to run with the horsemen. 

Keep the faith my friend.  Let's keep beseeching the Lord on one another's behalf.  Let's lock arms and encourage one other daily to stand for the Lord and not give into the things of this world.  And when things are bad and you don't know how to sing, just cry out to the Lord!  It's better than an Hallujah sometime!

Praying for you,


Monday, June 21, 2010


Okay, so I have to be honest.  I am going through one of my times of feeling totally inadequate. The enemy is attacking from all sides. Let me explain. I will try to make this as short as I can as not to bore you to death.  :)   But I must give you some background first.

I met my lovely husband of 13 years exactly 14 years ago at Rollins College in Winter Park Florida at Staff Training for Campus Crusade for Christ. Soon after training we were engaged, got married and were placed on the campus of UT Chattanooga.   We were on staff with Campus Crusade for Christ for 6 years and absolutely LOVED loving on college students.  In 2002 we felt God calling to leave staff and pursue other opportunities.  

A lot has happened in the past 8 years!  Nothing that we thought would happen which was---make a difference in the work place for Christ and passionately pursue other ministry opportunities.  We pursued ministries over the years but never really felt the passion or driving force behind it.  To be honest with saddens me to say that we got caught up in the material things of this world and let that be the driving force behind all we did instead of passionately pursuing Christ and all He has for us.  When we were on staff with CCC we had to raise our own support and most months didn't even reach our full pay check.  Because you know...if people didn't give, we didn't get paid.  This was very hard for us.  We didn't have children at the time and our rent was $300 a month so we could live off of $800/month....most of the time.  But over time it really took its toll.  So....when we finally got a consistent pay check, we went WILD!!  New car, vacations, nice things (okay, so all this is all relative....but to us we were rich).  Then something happened that no one really forsaw...the economy crashed!!  I will spare you the details because I am sure we all have felt the effects of the economy.  But let's just say....we are worse off now than we were making $800/month with Campus Crusade.  And...with Paul being in the Mortgage Industry, we are never garanteed a pay check!

It reminds me a lot of the book of Jeremiah.  In chapter one God says,  "They have forsaken Me and have offered sacrifices to other gods, and worshipped the works of their own hands."  (v. 16)

Now if you know us, you probably would never suspect that we were trying to keep up with the Joneses.  We didn't even really realize it at the time.  But now, looking back, we know that our hearts were seeking other things. 

"My people have changed their glory for that which does not profit."   Jer. 2:11

But the beauty is, Glory to God, is that through the journey our hearts have been turned back to HIM, His Word and the souls of men and women!!  Praise God!!  All throughout Jeremiah chapter 3 the Lord is pleading, "return to Me."  Oh how sweet it is that we heard His cry through the crashing waves.

Which leads me to now:
The Lord is doing amazing things in my and Paul's life.  We have really exciting things going on!  We have opportunity for ministry again.  We have our house for sale and willing to live wherever to passionately pursue that ministry (which is with college students by the way)   :)    We are just wanting to make drastic changes for the purpose of God's Kingdom.  We realize that money, possesions, prestige is fading.  At the end of the day we want to MAKE A DIFFERENCE FOR HIM!!!  I am sooooooooooo excited that the Lord has brought both Paul and I on our own journeys to the same point of wanting to live for Him in a big way!

So why are we being attacked?  Take a guess! 

Anytime the Lord stirs the hearts of His people, the enemy is waiting to trip them up.  So please pray for us.  We are starting to feel so unworthy, inadequate, feelings of "can we really do this?"  And the answer is YES but only through the power of the Holy Spirit.  If the Lord does not go before us we do not want to go at all.  We want to follow the steps of our Great and Mighty God!! 

What is the enemy attacking you about?  I want to pray for you as well.  May we storm the gates of Heaven for eachother today!!


Thursday, June 17, 2010

Our Words

I have been reading a book by Bill Bright, the founder of Campus Crusade for Christ.  It is called Living Supernaturally in Christ.  I just love how he writes.  It is so simple and yet so convicting.  Today's chapter was titled, "Speaking with the Words of Christ."

Today I read...
"Our words can create harmony or discord, happiness or discouragement, a positive or negative self image in another.  What we say can have a tremendous effect for either good or evil, so we must be careful."

I am saddened only because I realize that I'm not very careful with my words.  It is not even on my radar to relying on the Holy Spirit to guide my tongue.  My day goes by so fast that I just go about life and say whatever I feel and don't think twice about it.  I even spout off at the mouth to my kids.  I think I said something like this yesterday to my youngest, "You are really getting on my last nerve right now and if you don't get as far away from me as you possible, I am going to end up hurting you."  Please tell me I am not the only mom out there that is careless with her words.  I don't want to be so insensitive, it just overcomes me sometimes.  I truly want to learn to "Speak the words of Christ."

How do we speak the words of Christ?  In his book Bill Bright gives the 3M test.
1.  What is my motive? (Ephians 4:15 says we should be motivated by love.)
2.  What is my message? (Zechariah 8:16 says we should speak the truth and be honest)  Relying on the Holy Spirit to not to rush God's timing.
3.  What is my manner? (Luke 4:22 says that Jesus spoke with gracious words.)

Dr. Bright also gives five guidelines that the Bible provides for controlling our tongue.
Stifle the impulse to speak hastily or foolishly. (Proverbs 15:28)
Pray about what to say, especially in difficult situations.(Phillippians 4:6)
Encourage, exhort, and edify others in love. (Proverbs 16:23,24)
Avoid foolish, boastful, obscene, hurtful, or false speech. (Ephesians 4:29,31; 5:4)
Keep your ears open and be quicker to listen than to talk.(Proverbs 18:13)

The one that I struggle with the most  is "avoiding foolish, boastful, obscene, hurtful or false speech."  Mainly foolish and obscene.  There are so many times that I will be talking with my friends and I can allow the conversation to go a little too far on the joking side, all in good fun...but not edifying for sure.  Silly, yes!  But worth the laugh?  Okay maybe sometimes but there is a line.  I pray that the Lord would show me where to draw the line and then help me to stay as far back from it as I can. :)   In Ephesians 5:4, Paul writes that "there must be not filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather give thanks."

If we still are not sure how to speak with the words of Christ, here is one last test Dr. Bright give.
  • Is it the truth?
  • Is it fair to all concerned?
  • Will it build good will and better friendships?
  • Will it be beneficial to all concerned?
For he says that "as we allow Christ to live in and through us, our words should reflect the heart of our Savior."

May we be about God's Word today.  Basking in His glory and soaking it up like a sponge.  Then, may we apply God's word to our lives and learn to "speak with the words of Christ" today!

Not perfect but being perfected,


Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Lessons of a Six Year Old!

So lately I have been very concerned with my 6 year old's behavior.  He has started this thing where he will say "you're not my best friend anymore" when one of his friends does something he doesn't like.  He did it two times today and the last time was with one of his friends that truly is one of his best friends. 

It broke my heart that he would say such a thing because Paul and I have tried so hard to teach our boys to put others first and to love them as Christ would.  So I asked him why he would say such a thing.  And as only a 6 year old could say he replied, "because he wouldn't share his cars with me."  He also preceded to tell me that not only did he tell him he wasn't his best friend anymore but he also said, "and that is why I didn't put you as my best friend in my all about me book."   So by this point I am devastated not because of the action itself but because he is telling me in such a mean attitude and with such conviction.  In my flesh I said, "okay, you're not my best friend anymore because my friends don't treat people like that so I can't have you as my best friend anymore." 

And this is what Parker said after a long pause......"but I'm still going to keep loving you mommy!" 

Teachable moment #1-My response (which was only by the Holy Spirit because I was still pretty mad at him). 
"Parker, that is exactly right!  And you know what?  God keeps loving us even when we don't share our cars or we tell people that they aren't our best friend anymore.  Do you think that Sam felt loved when you told him that you didn't want him as a best friend anymore?" 
Which he replied, "No." 
I said,"Don't you think you need to let him know that you still love him?" 
Parker said, "yes."  
I said,"Then what do you think you should do?"
Parker said,"Call him?"

Bottom line.....After some coaching he called Sam and and said he was sorry for hurting his feelings and would he forgive him.  I don't know what was said on the other line but I could hear that Sam was saying something.  I could tell the conversation was coming to an end and then I hear Parker say in his 6 year old voice....."I love you......bye."

Teachable moment #2 was for me!!!  I can't always be there when Parker decides to hurt someone else with his words or his actions but I can point him to Christ and pray that he makes better choices. Without my prodding, my 6 year old ended a conversation with his best friend by saying, "I love you, bye." I think that was a pretty good choice.  What do you think?


Monday, June 14, 2010

Righteousness and Justice

The Lord reigns: let the earth rejoice;
Let the many islands be glad.
Clouds and thick darkness surround Him;
Righteousness and Justice are
the foundation of His throne. Psalm 97:1-2

Praise the Lord!
Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good;
For His lovingkindness is everlasting;
Who can speak of the mighty deeds of the Lord,
Or can show forth all His praise?
How blessed are those who keep justice,
Who practice righteousness at all time! Psalm 106:1-3

Bitter sweet verses for me! Why? Because although God's love is everlasting, the foundation of His throne is Righteousness and Justice. That means that because God is righteous, He can not let sin go undisciplined. But thankfully His discipline is not meant to push us away but to draw us closer to Him. Psalm 106 says that we are blessed if we keep justice and practice righteousness.

My challange for us today is to chose righteousness in everything we do and experience the blessings that God so richly wants to lavish on us. May we be about God's business today.

Righteousness and Justice is the foundation of God's throne. What is the foundation of your home?

Seeking Him with you and for you,

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Why This Blog?

"His steadfast love never ceases." Music to my ears. And oh how I need it. I am continually amazed at how the Lord has been faithful and "full" of mercies in the White household--my last name not the color of my skin. :)

I renamed this blog because it used to be called "whitefamilyfunnies" and then I realized that everything I wrote wasn't so funny but kinda depressing. You are more than welcome to read older posts at your own risk. HAHA!!

The reason I decided to start this blog is to remind myself that God fills in the gaps in my life. No matter how much I try to be the "perfect mom" the "perfect wife" or the "perfect friend," I fail royally. But you know what? God knew I would mess up and He allotted just enough mercies for that particular day. And I receive new ones the next day. His mercies never cease!!! There is a book titled "God's Mercies are New Every Morning (too bad the kids get home in the afternoon)." Isn't that the truth! Children are the perfect refining tool. Today my patience was tested more than once. Someone once said, "When you pray for patience, does God give you patience or an opportunity to be patient?"

My prayer is that this would be a place you can be encouraged and championed to pursue the Lord with abandon knowing that you have mercies afresh every morning!

Greek--"Mercies"--- Eleeo
-to help the afflicted and bring help to the wretched.

I have a deep affection for the Word and am doing a Precept upon Precept study on Jeremiah by Kay Arthur. This blog will be just a little tidbit of what the Lord is doing in my life and hopefully will encourage and inspire and help you to know that you are normal and not the only one out there that struggles. I am not afraid to share my failures but hopefully there will be a lesson learned with it as well. Please share any ideas or stories or prayer request with me as well. I would be honored to pray for you! May we walk alongside each other willing to appeal, beg, beseech on one another's behalf.