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Sunday, September 30, 2012

Me Being REAL!

I have been praying about what to post.  I have been pondering this for days. The Lord has laid something on my heart.  I don't know if it will even resignate with anyone but I heard the Lord say,  "be REAL, tell them your STORY!"

People will ask me sometimes, "So tell me more about you. What is your story?"  If you know my story at all you know that is loaded question.  But what are they really asking?...What do they really want to know?  Where I grew up?...Who my parents are?...Do I have siblings?...Where I went to college? etc.....

There are several things we can share to reveal more about us like...what we like to do, where we grew up, where we work, our favorite foods, favorite vacation spots, etc.  And while all these things are interesting and can help us understand a person a little more, it doesn't really expose a person at the heart level. 

I LOVE to get to know people.  I ask a bazillion questions. What I really want to hear is someones heart! So my questions begin to move more into what I call, "the uncomfortable questions."  I remember discipling girls on the college campus and I would spend some time getting to know them and then I would blow their minds when "the uncomfortable questions" came out.  Blank stares...but after digging deep, instant bonding would happen every time!!!  Thinking of those girls now brings a smile to my face.   :)  I love those girls for allowing me in their lives. As they shared more and more and I asked more questions I was able to see the STORY in their lives unfold...seeing the circumstances that the Lord allowed in their lives to draw them closer to Him.  The puzzle was becoming clearer to me. 

I think the reason I have been having trouble thinking of something to blog about lately is because my life has taken a major detour.  I am in a situation now where I no longer feel equipped or adequate to post anything of encouragement to anyone. My heart has always been ministry and discipleship and then all of a sudden...the reality of leading a single mom life hits me.  So you can imagine my face when I heard the Lord asking me to be REAL....blank stare!  Me?

This is where I get very vulnerable. When I started this blog it was for the purpose of encouraging others with my life in hopes of leading others to the Precious One I serve....JESUS!  Now my thought is..."who in their right mind would want to listen to me?" 

But God, in His ever so gentle way of handling my fragile heart, reminds me that this too is part of the STORY!  He says to me, "Don't stop telling the story....the story is not over yet!" 

So it would be remiss of me [lacking care or attention to duty: negligent, neglectful] to not include the detour.

I could go on posting as if I was not in my current situation and make it "pretty."  But God has called me to be REAL and I pray that through it you will be encouraged to know that a broken person like me can still stand strong and say with great faith that I have a God who loves and adores me and has had His affection on me since before the foundation of the world.  None of this is a surprise to Him!

But the truth is...I still have great fears that I have to bring before the throne of grace.  The truth is...I fear the future.  The truth is...I am learning in a new and fresh way what it means to be the woman that God created me to be.  The truth is...God is not done with me yet!

I give you fair my posts you will hear my heart!!

Might be boring to you.  But you can't say I didn't warn you!