Life is ever-changing! I am constantly having to learn a "new normal" it seems. But what I really end up learning is that I am stronger than I think I am, I am very loved by many people, and I have the sweetest boys in the world. But ultimately I am learning more and more how awesome God is!
I am reminded of the circumstances that brought me to the end of myself in college. I was a wretched woman crying out to God. And He heard my cry! I pursued Him like crazy and fell deeply, passionately in love with Him. Since that day I have been faithful to study His Word to get to know Him and learn how to live with integrity in this crazy world. Have I been perfect? No! But my heart and motives have been pure. My journey has been one that has been very painful at times. Sometimes I even questioned God. But in the end I was able to see His purposing in it all. Today I will choose to believe Him to be faithful and true....not just because I have seen it in His Word, but because I have experienced it! In every circumstance God has shown Himself to be TRUE, CONSTANT, and FAITHFUL! So today, I choose to believe!
I can tend to get anxious and want to know what happens next. I want answers. I want confirmation. I want a definite road map! Paul Millers words in A Praying Life encouraged me today...
"When God seem silent and our prayers go unanswered, the overwhelming temptation is to leave the story--to walk out of the desert and attempt to create a normal life. But when we persist in a spiritual vacuum, when we hang in there during ambiguity, we get to know God. In fact, that is how intimacy grows in all close relationships."
"When we suffer, we long for God to speak clearly, to tell us the end of the story and , most of all, to show himself. But if he showed himself fully and immediately, if he answered all the questions, we'd never grow; we'd never emerge from our chrysalis because we'd be forever dependent."
I choose to stay in the story and to trust God to be my guide. I trust that in the end I will be more and more like Him. That is all I need to know. The new normal is actually His STORY!