Parker and Tanner "helping" wash the van.

Summer is right around the corner and I am loving the sunny weather. We have been spending lots of time outside swimming, playing in the sprinklers, going to the park, going to Dollywood. I LOVE IT!!!! We went to Dollywood the other day. Since we have season passes, we went around 5pm until close at 8pm. Perfect!!!! It wasn't crowded and it wasn't as hot. The funny thing is...Tanner asked me when we were in the bathroom if we were at Disney World. Then when we were waiting on Paul and Parker to ride the Blazing Fury, Tanner told me he wanted to ride the Peter Pan ride. Oh, poor Tanner! LOVES Disney World! Well, it's not Disney but it is fun for the whole family. :)

On another note...we have been having some issues with Parker lately. He is 5 going on 15! He says "mommy" way too much. Asks way too many questions. And tries to argue his way out of getting in trouble. It has been driving me crazy! I feel a little guilty in some ways because I let him get away with so many things when my mom was living with us. I just couldn't do it all. I was taking care of my mom and chasing a two year old and somehow Parker got left to fend for himself. Now, I am paying for it!! Paul and I both agree that we need to put the hammer down. So pray for us! It is challenging! We love both of our boys soooooooooo much and we definitely want to guide them towards godly character and NOT selfishness and worldliness.

So, this brings me to another thing---My mom....oh how I miss her! It has almost been 1 year since her passing. I just can't believe it! Sounds weird, but I miss her more now. So many things remind me of her. I think that Parker and Tanner miss her too! Parker has MawMaw's alarm clock in his bedroom and we were trying to figure out how to set the time and he said, "can we call MawMaw and ask her?" Oh, Parker, how I wish we could. Then the next day Tanner was having a bad day so I started talking to him about his bad behavior and he said, "I want my MawMaw." It was so weird because it was all around the same time that I was feeling the same way. She was such a huge part of all of our lives and for 1 year our lives revolved around her. She is truly missed! But most of all---still VERY LOVED!!!

Things Change

Oh, how I am always remembering the "old days." I am not big on change! To be completely honest...it freaks me out at times. I look at the boys and my heart aches because they are becoming little people. No more babies around the house anymore. :( Tanner has his 3rd Birthday coming up on the 19th and Parker will be 6yrs. in July. Where did the time go? Not only are the boys growing, but our lives are changing as we trust God to bring the perfect family to purchase our house. I am just as sad as I am excited if that makes any sense. I can't wait to see what God has in store for the White family. Press on!

Sun makes me happy!

I must say that the 70-80 degree weather is amazing! I used to tease Paul and tell him that if we lived in Florida I would probably be a better wife. I am beginning to think there is some truth to that. Although I don't think that Paul could stand the sun. I don't know if you can see it in the picture above but he had surgery on his arm to have some skin cancer removed. It is a huge yucky mess. He had one last year removed on the back of his neck that required 40 stitches. None the less...I love the sun!

I also love being outside reading my Bible and having a cup of Joe!! As I dig into the Word I am convicted more and more of my sin nature and how I have become so calloused. Oh how I pray that I would begin to mourn over my sin. A sorrow that leads to repentence and change of heart and attitude.

Now with this in mind....I am praying that God will help me to see our current situation as a blessing. One that leads us to the arms of Chirst. I haven't shared alot about our journey over the last year accept what we went through lossing my mother almost 1 year ago. I continue to process that as I miss her so much and still long to see her face to face. Now we find ourselves in a fork in the road as we seek God's provison and direction for our lives. We have come to a place of realization that we have to make some changes in our finances. I am sure we are not alone in this but it has come to a point for us to put our house up for sale. It is highly emotional for me because the whole reason we bought this house was to be able to take care of my mom and allow her some space of her own. It will be sad when we finally say "good-bye" to this house because it holds so many memories for me. My mom's room is untouched! Clothes, shoes, personal belongings right where she left them. It has been almost 10 months since her passing and I know that it is time to close that chapter in the book. This house has served its purpose! We must move on! Pray that we sell quickly and for our hearts as we leave behind precious memories with "MawMaw."

I know that God is all sufficient! God is with us and our hope endures!

http://www.nataliegrant.com/our-hope-endures/

Potty Training

Okay, so I knew that I was going to have to start sooner or later! But to be honest with you, it is easier to go places without having to worry about "going potty" all the time. Amazingly, Tanner decided that he was ready to "go potty" all on his own this weekend. So...I sat him on the potty and guess what happened! HE POTTIED!!!! I couldn't believe it. He "went potty" all day without a wet diaper. Even typing out d-i-a-p-e-r seems so weird because Tanner will be 3 in May. He truly seems too big to be in diapers anyway. So we are going to the store tonight to get pull-ups just in case he has a relapse.

So sad!!! My little boys are growing up! No more babies or toddlers running around the house. Parker will be starting Kindergarten in August. I just can't believe it!!! Where did the time go?

DisneyWorld

Parker, Tanner and me at the Mickey 3-D show. Tanner has to be different and wear his glasses upside down. That's Tanner! :)

Tanner being shy with Ariel!! He LOVES The Little Mermaid. That's okay TAnner! I thought she was being to touchy anyway! :)

Thanks to Paul's wonderful parents, we were able to take a trip to Florida and take the boys to DisneyWorld. The fun part of the trip started when Parker decided he wanted to cut his own hair the day before we left for our vacation. Needless to say, I didn't respond the way I should have but Parker is very forgiving!

We had a blast with the boys on our trip!! Tanner got to see Ariel from the Little Mermaid. We waited in line for one hour and when we finally got to see her Tanner decided he was going to play hard to get. He was sooooooooo in awe of her presence that he couldn't look at her in the face. Oh Tanner! It only get worse!

I was so proud of Parker. He rode Big Thunder Mountain and the Haunted Mansion. The only thing he didn't ride was Space Mountain. Maybe next year! Tanner was still a little too young to ride some of the rides. He flipped out when we tried to take him on Pirates of the Carribbean. He said, "No, I want DisneyWorld, this not DisneyWorld." Paul and I are still trying to figure that one out. :) Tanner would cover his eyes in most of the rides and bury his head. Then when it was all over he would say, "All done. That not scare me. That funny!" Oh Tanner, you are just like your dad!!!

Parker was in heaven!! He has the most energy of any kid I know. He never once complained about walking so much! Way to go Parker!!! Other than talking non-stop, he was so pleasant to be with.

Oh and Paul!! HE is a trooper!! We didn't even get in a fight once the whole day! Disney is truly Magical! :)

My advice for those of you going to Disney in the future....

1. Plan on staying to the bitter end. There is no reason to leave before the fireworks. In my opinion it is closure that every parent needs. We need to be able to see those beautiful workworks and hear the songs about 'wishes" and "dreams coming true" so that we can say, "AWWWW, IT WAS WORTH EVERY MINUTE." There is something about the parade and fireworks that brings the kid out in me.

2. Take the monorail into the park and the ferry out of the park. If you stay until the Fireworks, it is madness to get out and the Ferry holds more people so it is faster to get back to your car.

3. Take hand sanitizer! Tanner and I both got the stomach bug at midnight after Disney!

4. Map out what you want to ride and do the "Fast Passes." You can only do one fast pass about every 1 hour or 2 so plan it just right.

5. Remember that it is for the kids!!! It's not about plans or agendas. Just have fun!!! We might not have done it the most effecient way but if you are just laid back, you get alot done. We did 25 rides/shows in 10 hours.

6. There is nothing magical about watching parents yelling at their children. (We saw plenty of this, especially in the 8th hour). I think I only grabbed Parker by the shirt once--HEE HEE! Try to just have FUN!!!

I can't wait to do it agian!!!!

A New Year

Wow, I can't believe it is a new year. As I look back, I am amazed at God's goodness. This doesn't mean that the year was an easy one. Matter of fact, it was one of the hardest years of my life so far. Losing my mom was a very difficult thing. I still think about her often and thought about writing down the things that come to mind so I can always remember her. But I decided to write a little something different titled....."Do you Know?"

1. Do you know that Parker had a dream about you a couple of nights ago.
2. Do you know that I often go into your room and sit on your bed and just cry?
3. Do you know that when I open the closet door to get the vacuum cleaner out and I see your jackets hanging there, I stop to smell them. I can still smell your sweet smell and I stop and cry.
4. Do you know that I am finding it hard to pack up all your stuff because I can kind of trick myself in thinking that you are still upstairs watching Foodnetwork?
5. Do you know that Tanner will randomly say "MoeMoe"(which is MawMaw to him) with the biggest grin on his face?
6. Do you know that I miss having you accompany me on my trips to the grocery store?
7. Do you know that Tanner likes Little Mermaid now and carries around a Little Mermaid doll he got for Christmas?
8. Do you know that Parker is an awesome Baseball player?
9. Do you know that Paul tears up every time he talks about you?
10. Do you know that even though I may have been a little tired at times, I NEVER got tired of caring for you. I would walk up and down the stairs 10 million times if it meant having you here with us. BUT...I know that you are in a much better place and I rest in the fact that God is good and God is Sovereign!!

Wow, what I year it has been! As we embark upon yet another year we are reminded that this is not our home. We too will join Him in the heavenlies someday! Our purpose here on earth is to share the love of Jesus Christ!