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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Total dependence in God!

I am an extremist! 

I am not saying it is right or wrong,  I am just stating the facts!

Now, where it comes to play in my life at this moment is in my relationship with my kiddos.  I have been having a hard time with my 7 year old.  He seems very unmoved by our disciplining.  He continues to live his life thinking that the world revolves around him. 

So, one day we were at jazzercise.  The class had just ended and I had gone to retrieve my kiddos at the childcare room.  We walked back into the Gym so they could get a sucker.  I happened to catch out of the corner of my eye my 7 year old knocking a girl flat on her bottom.  I walked up to him and asked what was going on and he said, "but she was pulling my shirt."  Now, I know that boys will be boys and 7 year olds will be 7 year olds...BUT the attitude!!  Oh my...I was livid!  Everything I said or did was just making it worse.  I told him to apologize and he looked at her with disgust and said, "No, I don't want to."  After demanding that he change his attitude, squeezing his arm, and pulling him closer to her, he finally gave in.  BUT it was a mean hearted, "I'm sorry." 

Enter Extremist!

As I was driving home that day I immediately thought to myself, "You are not spending enough time with Parker.  If you would just _____________ (fill in the blank) then he wouldn't be this way."  So the filling in the blank began...
1.  read more to him
2.  volunteer more at his school
3.  spend more time together as a family
4.  Stop jazzercising
5.  Stop discipling girls on campus
6.  Stop working part-time
7.  make him eat his vegetables (I know this is way extreme)

Then, all of a sudden I sensed the Lord.  And what the Lord revealed to me was so amazing that I started to tear up.  I felt the Lord putting his hand on my shoulder and saying, "Kerry, this too is my doing.  I am teaching you total dependence on Me." 

You see my tendency all my life was...if things weren't working out the way I thought they should be working out then I would work harder at whatever it was that wasn't working.  I would do whatever I could to bring it under my control. 

Did you get that?  "Under my control." 

God is teaching me that I can not control the outcome!  All I can do is "be" not "do."  I am to be in Christ, to be in His Word, to be walking out the Gospel in my life!  This is the best thing for my kiddos!

I am not going to lie.  It is hard! 

In Matthew 7: 14 we see that the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life and a few find it. 
In John 14:6 we see that Jesus is the way the truth and the life.

Total dependence in God is the way to life!



honey be said...

Thanks for that encouragement!

Meg said...

Honey Be (a mutual friend of ours) sent me this. I love it! I totally agree. Things just work a lot better when I'm abiding in the Lord, even though I'm pretty sure I've done that fill in the blank thing like you. (Except I only have a 10 month old.)

My women's Bible Study was just talking about this. We were studying Psalm 16. I really want (and prayed so this morning) that my relationship with the Lord would be a GET TO thing, not a HAVE TO thing. Meaning, I want to approach the Lord with joy and love and happiness that I can do just that, approach him. I don't want to be the one who spends time with him because I feel like it's what I'm suppose to do.

Ok, that's a lot of write on a comment, but I'm leaving it anyways. Have a good day.