Take up your cross!

And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it.  For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?" ~Mark 8:34-36

Wow!  I am daily reminded of how selfish I truly am.  "Deny myself"...can I really do that?  That means putting aside my agenda, my need for justice, my selfish desires...ultimately...CONTROL!

This has been a very trying season for me.  I am learning so much about the grossness of my wicked heart.

I am learning that I am good at denying myself when things are going my way, but when I encounter painful circumstance, I run back to the "old way" of doing things....SELF PROTECT!

This morning the Lord has so gently been dealing with me and I sense Him speaking to me in a HUGE way and it has to do with "the cross."

The cross to a person in the first century meant one thing and one thing only: death by the most painful and humiliating means human beings could develop.  In Jesus day the cross represented nothing but torturous death.

Now, if I would look back over my life...I would say that I have taking up my cross and endured suffering in more ways than I would like to count...a traumatic childhood, death of both parents, infertility, financial stress, marriage difficulties,etc, etc...

But what the Lord brought to my attention today is the fact that "take up your cross and follow me" means being willing to die in order to follow Christ.  This is "dying to self."  It is a call to absolute surrender.  The call is tough but the reward is matchless.

Following Christ is easy when life is going smoothly but our true commitment to Him is revealed during trials. Just going through trials is not "suffering."  It is what we do during the trials.  Do we put our hope and trust in the Lord?  Do we put aside our need to take control of the situation?  Do we address the circumstance as the world would or do we look to the Lord to intervene in way unimaginable and transform us more into His image? 

There have been times that I felt as the apostle Paul did, "Indeed, I [we] felt that I [we] had received the sentence of death" (2 Corinthians 1:9).

This has been a hard season for me and there are times that I just feel like I am going to die, that I can't handle it anymore.  But the Lord steps in and reminds me, just as He did Paul..."But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again" (2 Corinthians 1:9-10).

I rest in the truth of God's word...He WILL deliver us! 

Once again...
The cross to a person in the first century meant one thing and one thing only: death by the most painful and humiliating means human beings could develop. In Jesus day the cross represented nothing but torturous death.

Part of being delivered is daily dying to myself.  And in dying comes LIFE.  May I be found faithful in my pursuit of the Lord and follow hard after Him.  And may I find LIFE in the most painful of circumstances.

~kerry