This is my first (ever) blog and I am somewhat excited to share my life with you. I am not sure that my life is as interesting as most of the blogs I have been keeping up with but unique nonetheless!
I guess I should start out by sharing my story and why I have decided to join the rest of the world in blogging!
Over the past year God has done some amazing things in my life! In June 2007 I traveled to Lubbock, Texas (my home town) to sale my mother's house and pack up all her belongings to moved her to Tennessee to live with me, my husband and two children. Let me take a minute to introduce my lovely family....Paul is my best friend and husband, Parker is my 5 year old and Tanner is my 2 year old. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MY FAMILY! And a year ago "Maw Maw" joined our family. "The White Family Household."
The reason for my mom's arrival in Tennessee was because she was diagnosed with a lung disease (Pulmonary Fibrosis) and could no longer live by herself. I have 3 other siblings who all live in Texas but my mom chose to live with me. This was an answer to prayer for me because I had only lived with my mom up to the 5th grade (a crazy story I can share another time). I had always wanted and prayed for redeeming time with my mom. AND God delivered on June 14, 2007 (when we actually landed in Knoxville). The first couple of weeks were spent going from Doctor's appointment to Doctor's appointment. Each time we were reminded of the stark reality that, medically, Mom was only being given 1-2 years to live. I would try to hold it together for my mom and then when we would get home I would run to Paul and cry, sharing with him what the Doctor's had told me. Even then, I was holding fast to the sovereignty of God, knowing that He is the One that numbers our days. My mom's story was already written before the foundation of the world. There is nothing that will thwart his plan and purpose.
On July 5, 2008 I was able to hand my mom over to the Lord as He called her home to be with Him. It was a very tender moment and one I will never forget as I watched my mom drift away into a calm sleep. And then no breath!! Just like that...GONE! But to a much better place than I could ever imagine. I could not draw a blueprint for such a place as my mom is experiencing now. She battled her lung disease long enough. I would try to tell her when she would get so frustated with her quality of life..."Mom, it's not that bad. At least you can carry your oxygen around with you and still go places and enjoy your grandkids!" AND my mom did just that...she would carry her oxygen around pretending that she was feeling just fine. She was a trooper! And for pushing through a year with just 3% lung function...I have to say---"God, you were the one behind it all!" She was able to go to the pumpkin patch with us last year, go to Opryland Hotel to see the Christmas lights, we went to Pigeon Forge, and then our usual trips to Krispy Kreme, Wendy's for a shake, Starbucks for Caramel Frappicino, Mandrin House, El Charro and her favorite thing to do...grocery shopping at Kroger! And the thing I feared the most wasn't even a reality--I did not have to spend months watching her suffer. Praise God!! She went into the hospital on June 29th, into a Hospice facility on July 3rd and she went to be with the Lord on July 5th! She held out for Parker and Tanner. Once they were able to see her and she was able to talk with them she decided to take a nap and never woke up.
I realize everyday that it is not just me that is hurting. When mom first went to the hospital, I shared with Parker that Maw Maw was very sick and was probably not coming back to our house. He said, "is she going to die?" With tears in my eyes, I said, "it's a possiblity but we just need to keep praying to God." Which he responded with, "can we pray right now?" And he said the sweetest little prayer for Maw Maw! He asked me just the other day if MawMaw could come back and live with us. Oh how I wish she could! And Tanner still walks around mom's room in our house saying, "MoeMoe." Paul talks about her too! Oh Paul! What a Godsend!!! He served my mom well and His love was so evident in the gentle way he dealt with the whole situation. He stayed by her side at the Hospital watching FoodNetwork (and talking her ear off, but mom was used to it by then). Mom and Paul developed a sweet relationship over the year that she was with us. This was another answer to prayer!
So, you see, I could go on and on about God's rich blessings and the way he used my mom to develop character in both Paul and I. God's timing is inpecable! He knew exactly when Paul and I would need this encouragement in our own lives as well as in our marriage. I will never forget the lessons and values that God has shown us over the past year and a half. Everything was building up to that perfect moment when my mom called in May of '07 saying, "how soon can you come get me." And then again when she said in the hospital, "Kerry, am I going to be able to go back to your house, or am I going to die here?" Reality struck to the core of my being and I knew that I was going to have to come to grips with whatever the Lord willed for my mom. I think I knew deep down that He was already calling her home at that moment. I will never forget her words. I grabbed her hand and said, "I love you mom!" and she replied, "I love you too!" I had never heard those words from my mom before, but I believed her!. I knew that the reason she had chosen me to live with was because she desired a relationship with me. And I will NEVER regret moving her in with us! We will always have those sweet memories of mom walking around the house with her oxygen, cooking, cleaning, and drinking coffee together and watching Paula Dean.
So in sharing a bit of my life, my prayer is that someone might come to know the Lord...either for the first time or that their relationship with Him would become much richer and deeper and that you would be able to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the Love of Christ! He wants to wrap His loving arms around you in whatever circumstance you may be in right now! Trust Him!
I look forward to sharing more and only hope that I would be able to be a reflection of Christ as I walk with Him.
Mom on her Birthday
6-11-2008
